Friday, February 4, 2011

WHAT MAKES AN EXCEPTIONAL WOMAN? THE SAME THINGS WHICH MAKE AN *EXCEPTIONAL MAN


In a discussion a year or two ago the question arose as to the characteristics of a great woman. I was prompted to respond with the following:

1. Orientation to self. When a woman is oriented to self she accepts responsibility for her own life and decisions. The result of her self-orientation is that she will live life from a position of strength and contribute not only to her own welfare but the by-products of this kind of life will be to the benefit of others. She will recognize and accept the consequences of both good and bad decisions and not seek to burden others with blaming nor demand solutions for her self-inflicted dilemmas. 


As well, she rejects offers to be falsely elevated based on the efforts of others or through social flattery which leads to arrogance and vanity. Instead, she will rise and fall on her own merits.

Secondly, a woman oriented to self comprehends her unique and distinctive feature as a woman. She understands and accepts all realities regarding the nature of her feminine identity and embraces it with vigor. She seeks to align herself with morality and social customs which reflect feminine honor and excellence. She is neither a libertine nor prudish, both representing forms of a gender repudiation.


2. Orientation to the truth/honesty. When a woman is oriented to the truth, when she prefers honesty over deception and she is able to properly assess herself, her condition, others and the world around her. She possesses capacity to admit her weaknesses while identifying her strengths. She has come to terms with her self. A woman adjusted to the truth instead of fantasy, appropriately views others and the world around her. She does not place distorted expectations on others and the world to fit her ill-conceived notions and is able to appreciate the greatness of her peers while graciously perceiving their inevitable foibles.


Disorientation to Reality


On the other hand, a woman who is bewildered by the truth thus, not given to honest evaluations, will constantly be dissatisfied with herself and others within her gravitational pull.  She will not have come to terms with herself. Her existence will be in a constant state of flux, regularly embarking on campaigns of a "new self" through impractical programs and gimmicks which promise to transform her from the person she is to her magical hope which will forever elude her. 

She will have failed to identify and accept both her weakness and strengths and will live life from a position of weakness, never grasping her limits and gifts which open the door for accelerated self-expression, if only she would embark on genuine self-discovery. As well, her perspective of others in her orbit will be maladjusted. She will fail to acknowledge and benefit from the greatness and gifts of many family members, friends, and associates. Any social advances which come her way will be ill-received and bathed in skepticism and suspicion. Her view of the world will eventually be clothed in conspiratorial ideology.

Hence, much of what she does will center on her temperamental and perpetual interest in changing and manipulating others and her environment. She will become an expert in the faults and flaws of "them" to the point of denying even their most basic proficiency and contributions. Hers is a life of redundant criticism or at best, mixing her reluctant compliments with veiled and petty insults. She is a prisoner of flattery and vain endeavors and daily yields herself to such.


3. Orientation to authority. A woman who is oriented to authority positions herself to be a maximized asset in both in serving and leading. Understanding the nature and function of authority enables a woman to accept and excel in personal, marital, familial, institutional, and all other social contexts because she distinguishes the structure and boundaries of each. She understands and accepts, without resentment or personal challenge, those to whom she is subordinate, as well as identifying her peers and those over whom she is placed in in authority. Such hierarchical realities are viewed as benefits, necessities and divinely ordained schematics. At every point on any organizational or social grid she seeks to discover her place and excel in that role whether the most subordinate or most superior.


Disorientation to Authority 

In contrast, a woman disoriented to authority begins with a deficit and continues on an inevitable slide downward. Failing to understand the nature, function, and purpose of authority and its legitimacy, such a woman will always find herself discontented with subordinate roles, believing, instead, that she truly should be the person in charge. 

This pedigree of a weak woman will believe that any role in which she must take directives and carry them out is personally demeaning and disgraceful, never understanding the essential role of the subordinate and failing to respect and accept its necessity. Further, much of her time will be spent seeking to thwart, confront and disrupt the authority of others. In her mind, these individuals are a threat to her person. 

This daughter of Eve fails to be an asset to herself and others, rather she is disruptive, contrary and misaligned. And if a woman, disoriented to authority, finds herself in a position of authority, the execution of her role will be marked by blaming others when failure occurs, taking greater credit than due in the event of organizational success, and an abuse of power through personalizing policies and procedures that are designed for her benefit and not the benefit of the organization or person(s) over whom she is in authority. She also will regularly engage in the manipulation and control of others through sabotage, gossip and the promotion of disloyalty to others and preference to her.

Summation

As stated earlier, a woman who is fully oriented to self, truth and authority is poised to live life from the position of greatest strength. Subsequently, a woman with these characteristics will properly assign values to priorities in life and structure her life in that manner. She will have an appropriate perspective as to the order of her loyalties and make the necessary investment in each. A great woman understands herself and accepts her strengths and weaknesses. She does not pretend to have capacities which do not exist in her person. She does not seek to compensate for weaknesses through exaggeration, rather she guards her weaknesses from manipulation and attack and focuses on her strengths, making the most effort to enhance them and benefit from them.


Some might wonder, what about her spiritual orientation? Let me be clear in response. 


If a woman is disoriented to the realities of herself, truth, and authority, her spiritual orientation will be rendered impotent, by default. No matter how much it appears such a woman is engaged in spiritual activity, by rejecting the above she is automatically misaligned and spiritual neutralized whether or not she or others recognize this. This does not mean she cannot be saved but it does mean she will not advance in her spiritual walk beyond childhood. 

Before a woman can successfully involve herself in any endeavor she must fully accept all that encompasses orientation to self, truth and authority. It is through these mechanisms that personal greatness is achieved and is carried over into any context in which a woman *(or man)may find herself.

Edited 2017